Pfc Shane M. Reifert

Pfc Shane M. Reifert
Shane during a sweep of the Shuryak Valley, approximately 3 weeks before he was killed. Photo Credit: PFC Sean Stromback

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


It's Shane's funeral today. Also, I stubbed my toe getting into the shower. I felt guilty for feeling pain. I felt stupid for stubbing it in the first place. And I was reminded that life will eventually go on.

Funeral Home Phrases

Phrases that I never want to hear again:
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • Things will get better.
  • How are your parents? 
  • How are you doing? 
  • You are so strong.
  • Let us know what you need.
Does this make me sound ungrateful to most of the people who attended the funeral home over the past 2 days? Absolutely. Am I really ungrateful? Definitely not; the outpouring of love and kindness has been overwhelming. But hearing these same phrases and questions on loop from family, friends, strangers, etc. mean that the questions and my responses begin to lack meaning. I felt like I was stuck on repeat. I know that everyone means well, but maybe we need to come up with some new funeral home catch phrases to mix things up.

The most meaningful comments were when I was told that this would not get easier, that it would get harder. That the pain never really goes away. That this sucks, is awful, etc. Or even silence.

I am exhausted after the past 2 days, and my family and I have 2 more long days ahead of us. I will write more after things have calmed down and I am able to get more than 2 hours of sleep a night.