Recently, I was invited to
speak to the Family Readiness Group (FRG) at Fort Campbell.
For those unfamiliar with the FRG, it is a group of family members, volunteers,
soldiers, and civilian employees who provide activities and support for
families during deployments. The FRG is also responsible to help families in
case of an injury or casualty. I thought long and hard before I accepted this
invitation – was I strong enough to speak to a group about Shane’s death? Was I
strong enough to travel by myself? Was I strong enough to revisit Fort Campbell?
The speaking engagement was
scheduled during my spring break, which eventually swayed my mind to accept the
invitation. I already knew in my heart and mind, that this spring break would
be not the spring break of 2010. It was April of 2010 when I traveled to Nashville and had
wonderful experience with Shane before his deployment in May.
Most of Shane’s Bushmaster
Brothers were off “playing” in the mountains, preparing for their upcoming
deployment. Shane was so proud to be part of the legacy of the 101st
Airborne Division. He was even prouder to be part of the Bastogne Brigade
Combat Team which stands ready to deploy within 36 hours worldwide. I was
fortunate that a few of Shane’s brothers-in- arms were still on post. I
requested and was granted permission to have Thomas Kappler and Jordan Daniels
as my escorts. I had the privilege of meeting these honorable men back in
October when Kurt, Beth, and I visited the memorial at Fort Campbell.
For some reason the Army
thought I needed to fly out on Thursday at 6:50 in the morning; even though, I
was not scheduled to speak until Friday morning. Actually, it worked out well
because I had the entire day to spend with Thomas and Jordan. These men were
always polite and respectful; after all, “honor and duty” is part of their
core. I was comforted seeing two familiar faces at the airport. We spent the
morning in Nashville,
which is a magnificent city. We had breakfast in the business district, which
was in full swing. Men and women in business suits, carrying briefcases and
coffees, were hustling to get to work on time. We ventured to the river, home
of entertainment area, which was quietly sleeping off a nasty hangover. The
smell of stale beer still lingered in the air. The afternoon was spent touring
the post and hearing stories of Shane, including a visit to the memorial. In
the evening, Jordan’s
wife and son joined us for dinner. It was a relaxing way to end the day.
My escorts picked me up on
Friday morning to bring me on post for my talk. Oh yes, the talk - I still
hadn’t decided exactly what to say. I always get so nervous speaking in front
of people, so I like to have my ducks in order, but this was different. I
wasn’t quite sure from which angle I should approach my audience. And then I
remembered to just be me, and with that I decided to speak from the heart.
Ah, this broken heart, was it
going to be strong enough to guide me through my speaking engagement? I drew a
deep breath and thanked the group of volunteers for their time and personal
sacrifices. I let them know that it was 17 months to that very day that the
Reifert household was turned inside out and upside down. Not just the Reifert
household, but each and everyone who knew and loved Shane. I spoke about a
mother’s love for her son. I spoke about a father’s love for his son. I spoke
about a sister’s love for her brother and best friend. I spoke about grandparents;
aunts and uncles; cousins; friends; and brothers-in-arms love for Shane. I
spoke about a young man’s dream of serving his country; then, a man’s dream of
protecting his country. Finally, I spoke of a Soldier’s deep belief in fighting
to keep his brothers-in-arms safe. I expressed my views about what I
appreciated from the group and a few things I would like to see changed. I
closed with a few lines from John O’Donohue’s “Matins 2”
May I live this day
Compassionate of heart,
Clear in word,
Gracious in awareness,
Courageous in thought,
Generous in love.
And when I was finished speaking,
I knew that Shane would be proud of his mother. I knew that I had made the
right decision in venturing to Fort
Campbell.
After lunch with my escorts
and a few of the volunteers, the 1SGT’s wife asked me if I would come back to
the company headquarters. Karen said, that while neither she nor her husband
ever met Shane (this is a new position for the 1SGT), his name is always spoken
in the utmost respect. She took me to the Bushmaster’s back offices, where
there is photo after photo of Shane on the walls. I thanked her for sharing
this gift with me because it helped me grasp a tighter hold of this Bushmaster
Brotherhood.
My trip to Fort Campbell
was made complete when I was able to meet up with the Loheide family. Matt and
Marianne recently welcomed their beautiful daughter, Bella, into the world.
Kurt, Beth, and I first met Marianne back in January of 2011 at the Eagle
Remembrance Ceremony. Marianne is one of good ones, always honest, always
compassionate, always caring. While Marianne and I may differ on favorite
sports teams, I gladly call her my friend.
When the time came to venture
to the airport, Thomas and Jordan, allowed me to ramble on about Shane. I will
be forever grateful to these Bushmaster Brothers, who must make their own
mothers very proud.
As I sat at the gate waiting
to board the plane, I reflected about my visit to Fort Campbell.
I fondly thought about the shenanigans of Thomas and Jordan. I closed my eyes
and thought, yes; Shane could have been part of the shenanigans. He would have
been part of the shenanigans, and maybe, just maybe, he was part of the
shenanigans. Oh, that part of the story is for another day…
As I continue to “put one
foot in front of the other.”
Peace-
Always and forever,
Shane’s Mammy and Beth’s
Momma
