Who'd've thought you'd be dead ten whole years? Well, probably logical, rational people. But when it comes to you, those things don't always apply.
I really thought you were going to come back by now.
Logically, rationally, I know that's impossible. I saw your body. I saw you in the casket. I even touched you, just to make sure. And we visit you at the cemetery. You. Are. Dead. I know this as a fact.
But there's this part of me that also thinks there's a chance you could come back. In the way where maybe this is some sort of extended dream and I'll wake up and you'll be fine. In the way where you're undead because of an experiment the military did on you. In the way where this was all an elaborate government coverup and you've been away for ten whole years on a very top secret mission saving the world, and part of that world saving involved us having to think that you were dead. And as soon as you're finished saving the world, you're going to come back.
Those aren't real, though. They're cognitive distortions. My brain lying to itself. And even knowing that they're cognitive distortions, I still keep them. I still hold onto them.
Because that's kind of all that's left. I don't get to make more memories with you. The ones I have are it and I can't get anymore. So I keep the cognitive distortions. I continue to think magically. I keep waiting for you to come back. And I don't think I'm ever going to stop. So hurry up and finish saving the world.
