I want to drag the weight of my body to the cemetery.
Past the highways.
Past the fast food restaurants.
Past people who don't know any better and who don't see me anyways.
I want to feel ashphalt ripping through the fabric of my clothes.
Ripping through to my skin.
Leaving a trail of tiny blood marks behind me.
I want to reach your headstone.
Your grave.
The place where your body lies.
I will rise my bruised and battered body to my knees.
And I will dig.
I will take my bare hands, mangled from my journey,
And I will begin to claw.
I will rip through the carefully manicured grass until I feel dirt.
And I will not stop clawing
Until my fingernails have detached from my flesh
And leave nothing but dirt-ridden sores.
Until I reach the wooden box that holds your corpse,
The one that was chosen because it was warmer than cold metal.
Though bruised and bloody and exhausted,
I will open that box, that casket, that tomb
And I will crawl in with you,
Next to your rotted, decaying body
Trapped in a meaningless uniform
With meaningless medals,
Marking you as a stranger.
I will lie next to your body
And I will cradle your flesh,
Staring into the night sky,
Finally able to rest.
Pfc Shane M. Reifert
Shane during a sweep of the Shuryak Valley, approximately 3 weeks before he was killed. Photo Credit: PFC Sean Stromback
I can feel your pain. Always in my thoughts.
ReplyDeletethere is no greater love the a mother's for her child, even in death...the burden of the loss of your son you bare daily is unimaginable...
ReplyDeleteThis entry was written by a sister, not a mother.
DeleteI truly respect the sacrifice that Shane and your entire family have endured. I have had business dealings with Kurt for a long time. Way back when Shane would go to Gibraltar Trade Center to work with his Dad. Young Shane. Your son and my son joined the Army about the same time. I would chat with Kurt while Shane was deployed. He was always proud to be a Army Dad, just like me. I hang out in my garage a lot. I have a dart lane because I play darts a lot. The wall next to the dart lane has a lot of things that I collected throughout the years. One part of the wall is my memorial. Shane's picture with him in Shuryak Valley hangs on this wall. Along with two other soldiers memorials. I hang out in my garage a lot. It is truly a special place for me. I spend as much time there as in my house. My friends are over often to throw darts. I look at Shane's picture anytime I pass it. I am thinking about you and your family a lot. I know what its like to have a only son join the Army. I am proud. But I also worry. Anyways, I thought that I would come here and tell you THANK YOU! I come here from time to time and read your writings. So people do hear what you say.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless You All, Dave M.
Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDelete