Final Arrival

Two months ago, I had a secret. And it was that Shane was coming home on September 9th. Shane had told my parents that he was beginning the process to come home on leave, but he made me promise that I would not tell them the exact day that he would be home. So we told some fibs and made my parents think that he was stuck in Kuwait when I knew he would be arriving in Detroit on a Thursday. 

I made an embarassingly glittery sign to hold. I packed a bag with chocolate chip cookies and Monster energy drinks for in the car. And when I got a text from Shane telling me when his flight would get in, I could not get to the airport fast enough. 

I stood waiting in baggage claim, wanting to jump out of my skin with excitement. As it so often does during great anticipation or dread, time slowed down. 

And then I saw a pair of Army boots on the escalator, followed by an ACU (Army Combat Uniform), and finally my brother's face. I dropped my purse and sign and wrapped my arms around him in a bear hug. People were clapping. I breathed him in so deeply. When I finally let go, my muscles hurt from embracing him so tightly.  We were both a little teary eyed and had the widest smiles possible. Shane was home. Everything was going to be alright.

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On November 8, my mom, dad, our incredibly kind and caring casualty assistance officer, and myself were at the Philadelphia International Airport, awaiting our flight back to Michigan after having witnessed Shane's Dignified Transfer. A girl in a black and white dress was awaiting something else, though. A flight was unloading and as travelers filed off into the crowd, the girl carefully eyed the gate entrance. My mom pointed her out to me, saying that the girl must have been waiting for a soldier. The girl's face dropped as the gate door shut and it appeared that all of the passengers had gotten off of the plane. But, like something out of a movie, the door reopened, revealing Army boots, an ACU, and a soldier's happy face.  He saw the girl and the two hugged tightly.

If it had been any day before November 6, such a sight would have made me smile. But on that particular day at the airport, my heart sank and my eyes welled up. As nearly everyone else in the area clapped, I felt tears run down my face. I realized that I would never again greet my brother at the airport.

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I knew that September 9th was a special day while it was happening. I didn't know that it would be Shane's final arrival. I am sure that Shane knew what a precious gift he gave to me that day, allowing me to pick him up at the airport alone. 

Over the past few days, my mind wanders to the moments I had with him at the airport when we hugged each other so tightly that we could barely breathe. I still think I can smell him like I did during that hug, even though I know that is impossible. He was so full of life in those moments that it's hard for me to understand how all of that life managed to rush out of him.